Caution: Please do not Spank me!
by Fifty.Shades.of.Excellence
Summary: A bunch of Short stories pushed in one. Horror, Spoofs, Humor, Romance, Drama, Westerns. ECT Mostily everything on the list of Gernes. Please give it a shot!


**Caution: Please Do Not Spank Me! I like it way too much.**

**Okay so I really do not know what this story is about. So it'll be little short stories, and epic Awesomeness. I felt like I should do this. It won't be so popular like the others. But just so you know I am not a comedian. I am not a romantic. I am not a horror writer. I just write what I see on TV and transform it into my own way.**

**Here is story one.**

**Title: IT Pt. 1**

**Summary: the title says it all. I am terrified of clowns! And this is about the gang going after the creepy Pennywise the Dancing clown, trying to stop him from killing the kids in the small town in Montana.**

**Genre: Horror**

**ROSE:**

Looking at her reflection, Rose stared at the girl who lost her brother years ago when she was kid to the vile Pennywise. He was a monster of all sorts, luring kids in so he can eat them. Well not eat, but kill them. She sighed; she couldn't believe she was going to do this. It's been forever since she saw them, the gang, 15 years exactly, to this date. Rose brushed her hair, it fighting with her. Why had she agreed to it? Why had she said yes? No was on the tip of her tongue, but it never came out. She remembered the phone call vaguely.

"Rose, you have to come" Adrian had begged rose.

"Why should I?" She sighed loudly. "What's in it for me?"

There was a beat. "Dimitri will be there." Rose smiled. She enjoyed being with Dimitri. "But he's bringing his wife."

That put a sour look on Rose's face. Married? Wife. "I said what's in it for me."

"Rose, please? We're all going to be there. Christian, Mason, Eddie, Dimitri and myself." Rose enjoyed being the only girl among the group. But it scared her to no end.

"All right, I'll come." She sighed and hung up. Come where? She hadn't gotten any more information about where they will be meeting. She just assumed.

That's why she looked in the mirror once more and headed out the door. This is so not happening.

**DIMITRI:**

"Why?" He spoke into the phone.

"Because Rose is going to be there" Rose? Yes, Rose. He remembered Rose. How could he not? She was an 11 year old girl who was brave enough to get kidnapped and let them kill him. Well, that is until now. He's been haunting Dimitri's dreams.

"Okay, I'll go. But tell her I'm married. I don't want her to think I've waited for her. 15 years." He spoke coolly.

Adrian laughed. "You waited for Rose? Seriously?"

"Shut it Ivashkov" Dimitri sighed. "Okay, have you talked to her?"

"No, I'm about to call her." Adrian sighed.

"All right, I'm going."

Dimitri hung up quickly. He smiled at himself in the mirror. Despite his fears, he got one thing out of it. Rose. Yes that girl made him excited to the bone. Oh gods, he was literally bouncing where he stood. He started to race around getting dressed and left the house.

Smooth Belikov, did you even check how you dressed? No. Well check idiot. He sat in the car driving down the road. He looked at himself. Shit, One black shoe, one white shoe, red sock, blue sock, black jeans, missing strands of hair in his ponytail. His shirt half tucked in and not tucked. His eyes hooded. "DAMN!" He hit the steering wheel.

His cell phone rings. "Belikov!" he answers in a snap.

"Geez comrade, I didn't think I pissed you off that much" Rose giggled.

"Roz- Rose. Hi. What's up?" He breathed in coolly. Oh lord.

"I'm looking forward to seeing you. I can't wait." She sighed into the phone. "Bye Comrade"

Dimitri looked at the phone then at the road. Shit! He hit the guard rail. Get it together Dimitri.

Yeah this night is going to get interesting.

**MASON**:

Mason Ashford ran around the house chasing his daughter trying to get her dressed. He growled as the phone rang. He looked at his daughter as he finally got her cornered.

"Do not move!" He glared at her. She giggled when he turned around and ran away Mason sighed and answered the phone. "Ashford Residence. Mason speaking."

"Hey Mason. It's Rose. I'm passing the messaged before Adrian calls you. Okay, so creep-o whack-o clown guy is back and Adrian wants us all to go get ourselves killed." Rose paused. "You in"

Mason waited for a long moment to assess his options. Get killed by creepy clown guy or chase a 3 year old girl.

"I'm in. I need a break" He said bleakly. Yeah he rather gets a rush then a headache.

"Baby Marissa getting under your skin"

"Under? She's all ready 7 inches deep. She's going to be the death of me." He laughs. "She's running around naked right now."

Rose laughed out loud at this. "Baby's aren't that bad."

"Yeah you have kids." Mason said it matter-of-factly.

"No, but that's not the point. You need to have patience with them."

Mason rolled his eyes and looked at his daughter. "When do we meet up?"

"Tonight" TONIGHT! Yes he needed that.

"All right. Meet up with you then." He hung up and realized. He never gave Rose his number nor did he really ever speak to her. He was shy and afraid of girls then. Especially if the girls name was Rose Hathaway, she was a force to be reckoned with.

He shook his head. Damn! This better be exciting or he will end up in deep shit.

"Babe, I'm meeting up with old friends tonight. Don't wait up for me. I might be dead tomorrow." Mason sighed as he walked into the bedroom and his daughter started to laugh evilly.

**EDDIE:**

Edison Castile, sat in the NICU. His wife had given birth a week ago. The baby was premature. He sighed and watched his son squirming and crying in his wives arms. He loved them. The look on Jill Mastranos face as she held so much pride and happiness in her eyes. She couldn't have asked for a better son.

"He's perfect." She whispered stroking her son's cheek.

Eddie nodded his agreement. "Yes he is. I can't agree more Jill." Before too soon Eddie's phone went off. He quickly grabbed it and it stumbled. Falling out of his hands

Jill laughed a bit and sighed. "Take it"

Eddie stepped out and answered his phone. The conversation wasn't so good. Did he really want to meet up with a bunch of kids he almost got killed with? No. He wouldn't leave his wives side. He looked at her sadly and shook his head.

Eddie held his breath and looked back at his wife and son. What if this creeps gone after his son and wife? What if they died because he didn't go and kill this fucker? Yeah. He needed to protect his newly groan family.

"All right" Eddie sighed. "I'm in"

Hanging up his phone he told his wife a lie that he was going on a business trip. A lie he didn't want to tell but he did anyways to protect his wife and her not worrying about him.

**CHRISTIAN**:

Tall, lanky, with dark rings around his eyes, he sucked in a breath and closed his eyes. He still had nightmares about this clown that almost killed him and bunch of friends. But after getting a phone call from Adrian Ivashkov, his heart fell in his stomach. He didn't want to go back. Christian walked into the bathroom and started the bath; he reached into the cabinet and pulled out an ex-acto blade. He stripped off his clothes and stepped into the water and closed his eyes. He let the blade slide over his pale alabaster skin. He wrote on the wall with his blood. A message he wanted to send to his wife.

Lissa had walked into the house and heard the water running. She dropped her keys in the bowl by the door. She yelled up the stairs.

"Babe, I was thinking we go out to your restaurant?" She shuffled through the pile of mail in her hand.

She listened closely and heard nothing. She walked upstairs. Dropping the letters in her hand a scream escaped her mouth as she rushed over and turned off the water. She looked at her husband as the blood water surrounded him. She looked at his arms and tears streamed down her face. She fell back in the water on the floor and screamed at the message on the wall.

_**IT!**_

In his blood, Lissa screamed again and sobbed. She knew this was haunting his dreams, but she never took it seriously. She cried harder watching her husband float in the blood water. **(In the movie this is how it happened please don't get mad that I killed Christian.)**

**ADRIAN:**

He sat in the library as he thought all of this wouldn't be happening again. The message came to him first. He wanted to warn everyone else about this. He hated that he had put everyone at risk again. He was the odd ball out of the group of kids. That and he wanted to see Rose again. Yes, that beautiful brunette who loved to mess with the guys and be one of the guys. He hadn't seen Rose since they thought they had killed the fucker. Life really wasn't fair on them. He really wanted to see Rose. But not when she will be all about Dimitri. She was always about Dimitri. And it made Adrian Envious.

Staring at the books that were right in front of him, he flipped through a book he used to read when he was a boy. He felt something warm on his shoulder; he looked over at the red liquid on his shoulder. He touched it and frowned. He closed his eyes, NO! This was not happening. Not now. Not in public. He looked around and no one seemed to notice his panic. He breathed deeply and chanted a mantra in his head. _Not now. He's not here. This is just my imagination. _Over and over he had chanted. Adrian looked around and everyone seemed to be looking at him. He looked back down at the book, and then looked back up as he saw a yellow balloon right in front of him. He gasped in horror as the balloon popped in his face. He touched his face spreading the new liquid all over his face.

He heard a laughter coming from above. A laugh he hated so much that haunted his waking hours and sleep. He swallowed hard and looked up at the banister. He saw IT! The clown was sitting on the railing, with balloons in one hand and a party noise maker in his one hand.

"Hey Adrian," Pennywise had called out to him.

Adrian pretended not to notice him. He closed his eyes and tried to make him go away.

"That's not going to work. Fat boy," Pennywise has laughed and twirling the noise maker.

Adrian still didn't pay him any mind. He started to just flip through the books again. As he looked around again, balloons flooded the place. He gasped and freaked out as balloons popped all over. Covering people in blood, Adrian freaked and started to scream and run out.

The clown at the top started laughing hysterically, honking a comedy horn, and twirling the loud noise maker again.

Adrian got outside and ran into his car. Boy! This was one eventful day. He just wondered what dinner would be like when he got the gang together.

Getting in the car Adrian took off fast.

*end Part one*

Preview: Pt. 2.

… "Where's Christian?" Rose asked.

Adrian looked around and started to feel guilty. The dinner table grew silent. Without Christian, they didn't stand chance against the clown.

Eddie looked at Rose. "He didn't make it. Didn't you watch the news tonight?"

Rose shook her head and this time Dimitri spoke up. "Christian took his life tonight."

Rose gasped and shook her head. "No. He couldn't have." She didn't want to believe it for a minute.

All the guys had surrounded Rose, hugging her body to theirs. "It's all right."

Just on time dinner came, just your regular Chinese meal. Dinner went on as usual. The gang ate in silence as the waitress came around giving them their fortune cookies. Each one of them sucked in a long breath as they opened the cookies.

Rose was the first to scream. Her fortune cookie held a surprise that no one could gather…

* * *

**Part 2 will be up! I still have to write it, I got this idea after watching IT for like the 20th time in my life. I watch it once a year. I am terrified of clowns and I really do not like when clowns touch me. I was touched once by a clown and it killed me. Emotionally, physically, and mentally. But I thought I'd do my adaptation of IT. I hope you like Part 1. please review. Critizism is greatly appreciated. **


End file.
